Compassion Unlimited

Description

In this quote, Vicktor Frankl eloquently and succinctly summarizes the dilemma of compassion fatigue for every caregiver. We have all volunteered to be givers of light. In making this effort, we are all going to burn. It hurts to work with the population of clients with whom we provide care. It is not a pleasant thing to see track marks in the arm of a 17 year old prostitute nor bear witness to the stories of rape and torture that occur millions of times daily to children in the “war zones ” of middle-class American homes. It challenges our views of an ordered world, a benevolent God and makes our heart hurt. I have watched many excellent caregivers during my 23 years of work in this field say “enough, ” and either move into administrative positions or simply leave the field completely burned out. It ’s easy, and often even rewarded; to remain in denial about the effects of secondary traumatic stress and burnout (and primary trauma in the life of the caregiver) and believe those falling around me are “weak ” while we cling to my “it ’ll never happen to me ” mantra. In devoting most of my research and clinical efforts during the past seven years to studying and treating compassion fatigue, I have come away with a few “truths. ” The first one is that no one is immune to the effects of secondary traumatic stress —some cope better than others and some hide it better than others —no one remain unaffected. If we simply refuse to address the issues of self-care and tend to our own resiliency, we may be lucky and “catch on fire ” quickly, have our crises and make these necessary adjustments in our life. For those who are less fortunate, they get the slow burn. They get to watch their relationships slowly disintegrate because they can no longer tolerate intimacy, or witness their effectiveness as a caregiver dwindle because they are unable to hear one more story of abuse, or experience somatic symptoms (including weight gain, alcohol/drug usage) so intense that they can no longer find comfort inside their own skin. I have some experience with this last category, both as a caregiver who has lived through it and as a clinician who treats other caregivers who are at various stages in this downward spiral. This leads me to the second “truth ” I have uncovered in this work … This “truth ” is that for all the pain, these symptoms are a blessing. They point out to caregivers that their life is out of balance and needing intervention. My work with compassion fatigue has drawn heavily from the work of David Schnarch (1991) who works with couples ’ sexuality. His deeply evocative approach holds that couples reach “gridlock ” in their marital relationships because they have not yet matured to self-validated intimacy and are unable to self-regulate the anxieties of abandonment and engulfment that are naturally occurring in every committed relationship. As the individuals in a marriage “grow up ” and are no longer in need of their partner ’s approval, they are able to tolerate higher levels of intimacy and eroticism.

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