Cord of Three Strands

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Dear Clergy of New Hampshire and North Shore Massachusetts: I believe we share a hope that every married couple will honor commitments they have made before God to love one another. In 1996, as a Christian with 16 years of practice in the field of mental health counseling I was given a vision. The vision was all about a method for supporting couples in their efforts to succeed in their commitment to marriage. Essentially, it is divorce prevention, or as Michael McManus of Marriage Savers Institute calls it, "marriage insurance"! Divorce for parents in the State of New Hampshire changed in the mid 90's when our Courts began to require attendance at Child Impact Seminars. Lecturettes promoted less volatile more cooperative divorces focusing on awareness of the children and skills for conflict resolution and communication. The hope was to minimize the suffering of the children. As a member of Clergy you know the scars divorce leaves on "children of all ages". Through my work I also had become all too familiar with that suffering. Consequently, in '96 I participated in piloting the Court's program in Rockingham County, but could not shake the thought... "This is needed at the beginning of marriage!" Knowing many churches value marriage prep I reached out to talk with Clergy. I heard of the joy experienced in getting couples started. I also heard of frustration when needs are seen but resources and adequate time for confidence building, counseling or "building in" of a needed relational skill set are simply not available. From this my vision took form in January 1998 as Cord of Three Strands Relationship Development Center. The reference "cord of three strands" is Biblical, taken from Ecclesiastes 4:12. At Cord of Three Strands we see God as the 3rd strong cord in marriage. We use structured inventorying of a couple's strengths and weaknesses. With the results we provide individualized coaching. This leads in some cases to respectful parting, but more often to relationship strengthening. Thinking divorce prevention, both are successes. Our programs are based solidly on Christian values and are designed for seriously dating, engaged, and newly-wed couples. Prospective Marriage Mentors, and couples who need more than enrichment but not therapy, benefit too. We recognize God as the Author of marriage and the Bible as the inspired Word of God wherein is found the best direction for healthy relationships. Materials are tried, proven, and from primarily Christian authors. Respectful of all faiths, we see couples irrespective of denomination or beliefs. The response from couples and Clergy prompted this letter to introduce Cord of Three Strands and invite referrals and inquiries. From Derry, Rev. Dr. Leo Christian had this to say: "As a Pastor it is good to know that a program like Cord of Three Strands is available to help couples both before and after the wedding vows. Having worked with Wesley in various capacities for more than two years I have seen the results of his counsel in the lives of individuals. It is great to have this resource in our area." Brochures and information about other programs are available. Please contact me if we can be of service to couples you know or to your congregation. Sincerely yours, Wesley E. Shattuck, M.Ed., NCC, LCMHC

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