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Roger And Me "Thumbs Up" to Roger Ebert for putting together the best movie criticism site on the Net. Feel like you've overstayed your welcome at www.jeffthomas.com? Think that it's in our mutual best interest that you run elsewhere for cover? Whatever your motivation for leaving, here are some fine virtual rest areas where you can get that lingering odor out of your clothes and the unpleasant taste out of your mouth: Totally Tromatic! Meet lovable hideously deformed creature of super-human size and strength "The Toxic Avenger" — and other upstanding members of the community of Tromaville — at troma.com, one of my favorite links. Roger Ebert On Movies First and foremost, you should visit movie critic Roger Ebert's site every Friday, when he posts new reviews. Unfairly dismissed by many as "The Fat One," Ebert is hilarious, insightful, and a man whose heart is three-times the substance of his girth. For proof, gaze in envy upon his review of "Patch Adams." The Internet Movie Database and Coming Attractions by Corona Need additional movie info? For more than you'll ever need to know, check out these sites. The IMDb is for existing films, while Coming Attractions' scope is made pretty clear in its name. Both sites are exhaustive, addictive, and seasoned with just the right amount of errors and inconsistencies. Best served hot, and with your finest butter substitute. What The Rock Is Cooking Here, "The People's Champion" and I prepare to defend the World Wrestling tag team title in the steel cage match that would see my retirement after multiple fractures and — some say — brain injury. You might be able to read about it at wwe.com. Troma.com The fine folks who bring to you classics like "Chopper Chicks In Zombietown," "A Nymphoid Barbarian In Dinosaur Hell," "Surf Nazis Must Die," and "Rabid Grannies" maintain a site that's every bit the class act that is their film catalog. GeorgeARomero.com There was a time when the director of the consummate zombieflicks "Night," "Dawn" and "Day of the Dead" would personally respond to all questions posted on this site's messageboard. Today, he's gone, and it seems more like an apocalyptic wasteland overrun by mindless ... umm ... well, you can insert the obvious joke yourself. The "Get A Life" Program Guide More than even Nipsey Russell and Charles Nelson Reilley, Chris Elliott is a poet and the voice of a generation. This FOX television program was his finest hour. Beyond The Scope There are many other sites on the Internet that are worthy of my recommendation. Unfortunately, lack of space and other considerations preclude me from listing them here. [I am, of course, referring to not-for-profit and charitable organizations.] WWE.com Your daily dose of professional wrestling news, all 100 percent real. Elvis-Costello.com The ultimate tribute to the man whose music is on my PC's jukebox while I write most of my site, Elvis-Costello.com may lend insight into the way that my mind works, serving some purpose to all of the aspiring psychoanalysts in the www.jeffthomas.com peanut gallery. My Dad's Web Site Need I say more? Well, kids, that's just a small taste of the cold, harsh world that awaits you, www.