WSFL

Description

Hometown: Washington, DC. When I was little I wanted to grow up to be: Taller than 5' 7", and it's not looking too good. Whaddaya think the chances are that a guy in his mid-30's will experience a growth spurt? Screw it. Pass the Ensure. Seriously, could you reach it for me? It's up there on the top shelf. First Job: Cook at a seafood restaurant. I was 15 working with a bunch of guys who had met in Virginia's Lorton Penitentiary. They called me "Cupcake" after a guy they knew in prison. I still love seafood, but my taste for cupcakes has never been quite the same. Favorite Bands: My first concert as a kid was AC/DC, which will always rank as one the greatest shows I've ever been out to. I'd also see Petty any time I get the chance. Many years ago my (now ex) girlfriend got me tickets to one of his solo tours as a Valentine's Day gift. I surprised her with... a clock radio! Then, like an idiot, I used the tickets to take another girl to the show. That relationship didn't last either. But I know for a fact that the first chick still has that clock radio. I have visitation with it every other weekend and two weeks over the summer. Favorite Foods: Wings, Crabs, and when drinking responsibly, I've been known to take a late-nite stroll through the McDonald's drive-thru. You'd be surprised how little humor they find in guys in a robe walking up to their window. Hey, at least I remembered to tie it in the front last time. Pets: None - frankly, its a miracle I'm even able to take care of myself. If I Could Meet Any Famous Person It Would Be: Why would any famous person want to meet ME? I recognized Wilford Brimley once in a Denny's and he yelled at me for asking him for an autograph. I'm pretty sure I deserved it, and just like Wilford used to say about Quaker Oatmeal, ripping me a new one was the right thing to do. Favorite TV Shows: Bizzare Foods, Man Vs. Food, and pretty much any other food-related shows I can watch while I'm eating food. Favorite Movies: The Big Lebowski, Goodfellas, The 40-Year-Old-Virgin, Slingblade, and any video of Lindsay Lohan falling down outside a night club. First Thought Waking Up This Morning: I've really gotta stop sleeping in my clothes on the couch. I'm gonna switch to sleeping in my clothes in the tub so I can grab a shower and do my laundry simultaneously as soon as I wake up. Other People Annoy Me When They: I think I do most of the annoying. The Worst Job I Ever Had Was: Working for a private security company for about a week. It's not a bad job, but let's face it... I couldn't be less intimidating if I showed up holding a balloon and an ice cream cone. Adult Beverage Of Choice: I have no say in the matter, my liver likes rot gut hooch. It's the fiscally responsible organ in my body. Anything Additional You'd Like To Add: Addition's never been my strong suit.

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