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"Just like you hear it, with a big SOS" -- dedicated to Roland Kaltefleiter % finlandia:~> apropos win win: nothing appropriate. % C:\> WIN Bad command or filename C:\> LOSE Loading Microsoft Windows ... % Linux ext2fs has been stable for a long time, now it's time to break it -- Linuxkongreß '95 in Berlin % The state of some commercial Un*x is more unsecure than any Linux box without a root password... -- Bernd Eckenfels % Less is more or less more -- Y_Plentyn on #LinuxGER % Let's call it an accidental feature. -- Larry Wall % ......... Escape the 'Gates' of Hell `:::' ....... ...... ::: * `::. ::' ::: .:: .:.::. .:: .:: `::. :' ::: :: :: :: :: :: :::. ::: .::. .:: ::. `::::. .:' ::. ...:::.....................::' .::::.. -- William E. Roadcap % Win95 is not a virus; a virus does something. -- unknown source % Machine Always Crashes, If Not, The Operating System Hangs (MACINTOSH) -- Topic on #Linux % Except for Great Britain. According to ISO 9166 and Internet reality Great Britain's toplevel domain should be _gb_. Instead, Great Britain and Nortern Ireland (the United Kingdom) use the toplevel domain _uk_.

"Fantastic! the salesman said. But tell me, how come the pig has three wooden legs?" The farmer stared at the newcomer in amazement. "Mister, when you got an amazin' pig like that, you don't eat him all at once." % A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on. -- Samuel Goldwyn % About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends. -- Herbert Hoover % According to a recent and unscientific national survey, smiling is something everyone should do at least 6 times a day. In an effort to increase the national average (the US ranks third among the world's superpowers in smiling), Xerox has instructed all personnel to be happy, effervescent, and most importantly, to smile. Xerox employees agree, and even feel strongly that they can not only meet but surpass the national average... except for Tubby Ackerman. But because Tubby does such a fine job of racing around parking lots with a large butterfly net retrieving floating IC chips, Xerox decided to give him a break. If you see Tubby in a parking lot he may have a sheepish grin.

"Well, sir," replied Sam, "nobody explained it to me quite so clearly before." % Everybody likes a kidder, but nobody lends him money. -- Arthur Miller % Everyone who comes in here wants three things: (1) They want it quick. (2) They want it good. (3) They want it cheap. I tell 'em to pick two and call me back. -- sign on the back wall of a small printing company % Exceptions prove the rule, and wreck the budget. -- Miller % Excerpt from a conversation between a customer support person and a customer working for a well-known military-affiliated research lab: Support: "You're not our only customer, you know." Customer: "But we're one of the few with tactical nuclear weapons." % Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work. -- John G. Pollard % Exxon's 'Universe of Energy' tends to the peculiar rather than the humorous ... After [an incomprehensible film montage about wind and sun and rain and strip mines and] two or three minutes of mechanical confusion, the seats locomote through a short tunnel filled with clock-work dinosaurs.

"That's all you do?" answered the foreman scornfully. "Bird imitations?" % A copy of the universe is not what is required of art; one of the damned things is ample. -- Rebecca West % A critic is a bundle of biases held loosely together by a sense of taste. -- Whitney Balliett % A diva who specializes in risque arias is an off-coloratura soprano. % A drama critic is a person who surprises a playwright by informing him what he meant. -- Wilson Mizner % A fool-proof method for sculpting an elephant: first, get a huge block of marble; then you chip away everything that doesn't look like an elephant. % A hard-luck actor who appeared in one coloossal disaster after another finally got a break, a broken leg to be exact.

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