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Aug 24, 2006 by Jared Smith I’ve been working on this list for some time. When something really annoys me, I’d add it here, mostly as a way to relieve pent up aggression. SPAM I get around 150-200 junk messages per day. Of course having over 10 e-mail addresses doesn’t help, but still. There’s a warm spot in hell for spammers. The artificial meat-in-a-can stuff is kinda annoying too. Dora the Explorer How could anybody with this type of fashion sense and ADD be entertaining? Yet I’m subjected to watching at least one episode per day. And she repeats EVERYTHING three times. It’s annoying. It’s annoying. It’s ANNOYING! Autoresponders You know, the “Jared is out of the office on vacation and will be back on the 20th” messages that are automatically sent back to you when you send e-mail people. Yesterday I sent around 2000 e-mails for work and got about 200 autoresponders. Nobody gives a flyin’ flip that you’re out of town, beside your mother – and she doesn’t have e-mail and already knows you’re gone, so stop with the autoresponders already. If I wanted to get ahold of you right now, I’d pick up the bloody telephone and call you. Telemarketers I get 3 or 4 per day… at work, not counting the ones we get at home. I don’t mind having a nice, short conversation with a total stranger before hanging up on them, but they only want to talk to my boss. I’m not sure how her name got associated with my phone. Thank goodness for caller id. I hate you Pitney Bowes! Fax machines Fax machines by themselves aren’t evil. But the one that has called my house at least once a month in the middle of the night for the last 10 years (this is NOT an exaggeration) is the spawn of Beelzebub himself. It sucks to wake up at 2am in the morning (see next item) to a phone call that you are certain is regarding someone’s death or your house burning down around you, and all you hear is “Beep… beep… beeeep”. The only thing worse than that, is that it always calls back 10 minutes later, just at the point where you’re almost asleep again. People who use AM and PM redundantly When people say things like “9am in the morning” and “10pm at night.” One or the other will suffice, thank you. When the toilet paper roll dispenses from the bottom It’s common knowledge that having the TP dispense from the top is more efficient. When our janitorial staff doesn’t put my garbage can back where they got it Is it really too much to ask? Every morning is like a game – where in the office will the trash can be today? Perhaps they have absolutely no short term memory. Or perhaps they know it pisses me off. Either way, I’ve had to resort to using a Sticky Note to ask them to put it back. We’ll see if that does the trick. People I don’t hate everyone, I just hate humans in large groups. I’ve never enjoyed crowds or big social settings. As I’ve often said, the only thing dumber than chickens and sheep are people in large groups. School is just starting here and I especially hate Freshman Girl People right now. Animated GIFs Drivers who take up the fast lane Drive slow in the fast lane if you want to, just don’t drive slow in the fast lane right next to someone driving slow in the slow lane.

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